Yoghurt and the value of commitment

Lately, my agent's been sending me to a ton of auditions that I have no business walking into (there's no way I could be a sexy young mom, even if I am technically of childbearing age -- I'm way too infantile-looking). So I was thrilled when I finally had an audition for a part I could actually be cast in.

This was for a UK and Ireland Danone yoghurt commercial, with a typically moronic premise: two girls are sitting across from each other in a boxing ring, with a table between them covered in donuts and onion rings and other fatty yummies. They're both on a diet, and are competing intensely to see who can resist the junk food the longest. One of them is eating only salad; the other one... yup, just Danone.

The audition consisted of a prolonged fierce look at the opponent while gripping the table, trying not to cave in and eat (the moral of this commercial's story is really pretty shameful).

The girl opposite me was a model, not an actress, so naturally she was terrible. When she wasn't laughing, she kept squinting her eyes at me like she was trying to read something written across my forehead.

Then I did the scene, and after the casting director said "Cut!" the model bimbo squealed, "Oh my god! You were so good! You scared the crap out of me."

Well, that's what I was there to do, right? Even in a casting for a completely improbable, ridiculous commercial (and there are plenty of them out there) you have to commit, and commit hard. Your audition will be worth nothing if you let yourself laugh or blush because you're afraid of looking stupid. You'll only end up looking more like an idiot, especially on film.

And seriously, don't be afraid of intense eye contact; it's one of the best tools an actor's got going. The bimbo blew it because she wasn't capable of looking straight at me and holding my gaze.

I'm intimidating, I know. But deal with it.